Fourth November, the 21st day.
Day 21, I am told by a dear colleague, is Wolf Goddess day. It has other names, too: Ik 9 Tzi we learned from daykeepers; Dog spirit amidst the Breath of Life, Voice that Connects.
I remember a Wolf Goddess I met late one night, or perhaps very early in the morning, before the sun unveiled her shining.
It was many years ago.
When I recall her, I must separate her from other different energies that previously were conflated. It feels confusing, but then there is clarity.
Through the cleared conduit, she speaks to me.
In a series of conceptual conjunctions and diverse rare angles — well beyond trines and squares — she lays out a dialogue between us.
But she doesn't speak in the kind of words we were instructed about in school.
She speaks in words shaped from runes made of positionalities in the universe.
Movement and vibration are her etymological building blocks.
Her words are the ones I always knew.
As she paints the scene and I type on the screen, I wonder how to share it with you.
I'm imagining a game where it is necessary to say a word or phrase that saves one's progress and allows one to make a real go of it in gameplay.
And then, a surprise: That word or phrase has been disallowed by a mechanic in the game.
If you say it now, it will stop your gameplay — and either start you back from the beginning or remove your avatar from the board permanently.
If you don't say it, you may have the same result by another route.
You investigate to know whether your saving phrasing has been disallowed from the game utterly, or if this stricture may be temporary.
You find this surprise applying to more than one saving phrasing. While some seem temporary, others are persisting.
You start encountering this challenge too frequently.
It has stopped much of your necessary languaging.
It is not just a little game.
This will stop your gameplay, stop your life, stop your body.
There is violence, injury, pain, fear, and suffering.
As you come to recognize the impasse, you feel the cusp of the universe within your physical form and you know it may be time to go.
But what is it now that Wolf Goddess is teaching?
What does she want you to know?
Neural pathways a-light.
New language comes into being.
Precious components align together, birthing new syllabic symbologies.
Here and here and here grow bonds, attach new and changed meanings.
All these connection points occur in relationship between elemental beings.
Through the layers and striations of this experience, you discover that somehow new language has been emerging.
The landscape of language itself has changed.
Now what utterance was taboo?
Now what is the saving phrase?
Wolf Goddess lifts her face and howls from all her parts of the Earth body resonating into the great wide Sky.
You hear her colleagues across the cosmos respond, threads of sound aligning and harmonizing.
You shiver for a moment, and bide.
There is a sense of grace.
You know yourself to be very brave.
Day 21, Fourth November