What makes it possible to support someone else's process…
…is one's own freedom of process.
If you have an environment in which you are fully supported to have your truest process, that means that in other areas of your life… you're able to support the pace, style, or language of someone else's process.
If you are prevented from having a space where your own process is most safe to share, practice, and engage with… this prevents you from supporting others' necessary processes.
When living beings experience trauma, it's more difficult for that living being to recognize and support another being's trauma.
And when you cross a certain threshold of trauma, you might have no way of realizing that an experience you're having with someone else is because they have a different kind of trauma than you. That you're both trauma survivors, that you're both severely affected in various ways — but you might mischaracterize what's happening with them because you still need more support for your trauma recovery process in order to be able to recognize and support someone else's trauma recovery process.
It helps tremendously to remember this.
All of us still have ways that we miss something that we would have liked to have recognized in a moment.
But when we practice remembering this together, we ensure to the greatest of our ability that we are keeping spaces for ourselves and one another… where each person can express and move through their process freely and fully.
Where there are difficulties, misunderstandings, friction, or conflict, we know that the great likelihood is others have different needs, different experiences, a different process that needs to be supported.
And so we know that that kind of support needs to be built.
We know that we need to make some space somewhere safe for a particular person to have their particular process, if that doesn't exist for them yet.
These practices allow us to care for one another in situations where previously we might have thought, "There's no solution for this; I just have to totally get away from this situation."
People are cut off from one another when they don't want to be because they just don't know what to do.
When we remember these elements of process care for ourselves and with one another, we ease and de-escalate conflict in wonderful ways.
PS. For more, take a look at what we shared previously about
’s recent post at :
You can also check out yesterday’s followup and keep abreast of all our process posts on this tag page.
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